Y water introduces their concept in drinking as follows:
At best, most children’s beverages contribute little or nothing to a child’s nutrition. At worst they are positively harmful to their health.
It is hard to fault this logic.
Y water is an organic, low calorie, functional drink. It is the first of a new category of “developmental drinks” which provide the vitamins and minerals essential to a child’s healthy growth.
Things have very quickly deteriorated into the marketing strategy commonly known as “bombard them with scientific sounding terms”.
Y water is also the beginning of the next generation of green. Not only are the bottles 100% recyclable, they are 100% reusable as a creative developmental aid.
Finally, some green washing will make you feel really good about buying this product.
Y Water places great store in the science behind it’s products so here is a graph to simplify the difference in the sugar content of respective products for anybody confused about the respective sugar content of water and Y water.
As can be observed Y Water has significantly more sugar and therefore calories than water. So it is baffling that Y Water is promoted as low calorie, it has a lot more calories than water.
Y has 4 different drinks in it’s product range: Brain water, Immune water, Muscle water and Bone water, each with varying quantities of vitamins and minerals and conveniently allowing varying marketing angles. For the very diligent parent Y water provides research papers to download and support their boasts for each drink.
Evidence for kids drinking Brain water comes from a journal entitled: Journal for Trace Elements in Experimental Medicine.
Support for Immune water comes from a section of a study entitled “Military Strategies for Sustainment of Nutrition and Immune Function in the Field”
Muscle water contains magnesium for nerve and muscle functioning. This ingredient is supported by a paper published in 1936.
Not surprisingly Bone water contains calcium – 10% of an infants daily requirement.
The science provided for these drinks is dubious but what isn’t dubious is that all of these essential nutrients can be obtained in their natural, cheaper form in fruit, vegetables, meat, wholegrains, dairy products and ….. water!
The green claims of Y water are nothing short of inspiring. Who would have thought that one could collect water in a factory, add artificial nutrients, tip it into a tiny rubber container, seal it with foil, place it into a box, ship it around the globe, sell it in shops to parents, have the parents take it home and you could “promote and protect” the environment? Again, water from a tap?
Recriminations abounded in our house over the weekend when it became apparent that not only was I not awarded Father of the Year; I was not even nominated for the Father of the Year. To add salt to the wounds this year was the first year ever* that a dad received the award despite not being noteworthy in his chosen career. (*1964 winner Norman J. James is not listed as having a noteworthy career).
Even though my sporting career stacks up favourably against past winners including, Ron Clarke, Neale Fraser, Lindsay Gaze, Steve Moneghetti, James Tomkins and Dean Jones I had always felt I was out of the running due to a lack of public recognition. This year could have been my year.
The Age reported that Bruce Maya was the 2009 winner. Have you ever heard of him? No. That is the point. The article describes an adoring daughter, a son that has his dad as a football coach, a proud wife and most importantly a brave dad doing his best to support and care for his family in very trying circumstances.
In the past David Beckham’s credentials for British Father of the Year have been questioned. What is it about ex or current sports stars that make them so well credentialed to be Fathers of the Year? Is it the times they spend overseas and interstate competing and training? Is it their unwavering commitment to their own personal goals? The large amounts of money they can provide for their family? Or perhaps they just seem like such good blokes?
The other major category of former winners of Father of the Year awards is the leaders of health related organisations. Again possibly the large amounts of money they can provide for their family would appear to be compelling. Perhaps they are excellent fathers because if something goes wrong with the health of their child they will have contacts to ensure expert care. Certainly they would not need to buy a new suit for the awards ceremony.
This may all sound bitter but kudos to the 2009 committee who ignored 50 years of tradition and awarded Bruce Maya the gong and more kudos to the Maya family.
Depending on which parent you talk to the one-eyed baby sitter is:
a) the cause of all evil in children today;
b) a great educational tool when appropriate programs are chosen;
c) a useful timeout for parents and children;
d) another source of entertainment;
e) not worth putting that much thought into.
The three year old was still wondering what happened to our families intense 3 week dedication to the 6pm Tour De France highlights on SBS when the World Athletics Championships rolled around. To a toddler it must be confusing and at the same time fascinating the way these things fade in and out of the consciousness. She is still talking about going in a plane and a “holiday house” from a holiday two months ago.
Back to the television and the Athletics. Every so often the 3 year old and I have a “Ready, Setty, Go” race. She wins, I win, everybody wins. Up until the World Athletics Championships she did what is officially called a “standing” start like a distance runner. In the week after the Championships she started doing a “crouch” start like a sprinter. This change was completely inspired by watching the Jamaicans and Americans putting their backsides in the air for a week.
Thanks to the wonders of the one-eyed baby sitter I don’t need a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet to budget for sprinting lessons. She already has it worked out and I can probably start planning on being an ugly parent and penciling in the 2028 100m Olympic final (and 2032 for the baby).
ACDB is a long way from the Gruen Transfer but two days ago ACDB looked at a marketing campaign using children in a positive way. The other end of the spectrum is this Diving lessons Microsoft Excel ad:
It all starts so well. The kids is cute, he is having fun, the proud parents are watching, other kids are egging him on, he is persisting through his mistakes, he is outside being active. I want my kid this to be my kid one day.
Then Microsoft got their grubby hands on it and made us feel violated. Why does the kid need formal lessons? Are the parents embarrassed their kid isn’t immediately Greg Louganis, minus the dinted head?
It takes more than an item of clothing to define a person but the tracksuit states an attitude. Comfort is more important than style. Easy wash is the priority over pride.
Natural Habitat: A food court in Watergardens, Fountain gate, Northland or some other gate, land or gardens. Stamping their loyalty bonus card to Muffin Break or Donut King.
Not likely to see: The first irony is that tracksuit mum is the polar opposite of the only person permitted to wear a tracksuit in public- the exercising athlete. You will never see her running. The second irony is that despite hanging out in a complex with “Gardens” in the name you will never see her in a park.
Related to: Teenage mum. Did not plan any part of the last 5 years and so have found themselves in a shopping complex and pushing a child in a pram.
Quote: I find shopping with the kids easy. I just strap them in and if they grizzle I hand them “fruit” roll ups.
Role Model: Bec Hewitt. New Idea was so mean to her. And didn’t baby Mia look so cute at the Logies?
The “home safe” “work safe” advertisements pull the heartstrings every time. The images of the worried child and mum waiting for their dad to come home hit the mark by making dads think about safety not for their own sake but for their family.
On the weekend whilst out mountain biking I was forced to confront this issue. I avoided the double black diamond downhill run mostly because I’m not skilled enough (I blame it on the bike being not good enough) but plunged down the single black diamond run.
Irritatingly, part of the way down when I should have been concentrating on avoiding a faceplant into the boulders strewn all over the You Yangs I started thinking about my family. I like to think of myself as an all action, show no fear type of guy but I paused and thought about the implications of a broken limb, concussion or worse.
100% out of consideration for my family I stopped and walked one or two of the more dangerous sections of the downhill. On the drive home I told myself that if I was an unattached man about the town I would have fearlessly attacked these boulders and demonstrated my limitless skill.
It is impossible to tell how much of my caution is due to me being a scaredy cat and how much of the caution is due to consideration for my family. Regardless, it was pretty good when I returned home to pick up my kids and tell them how fast I was with a big smile on my face.
As regular readers of ACDB would know I followed the Tour De France pretty closely. The following video is of Fabian Cancellara who is either far braver than me or is able to block out thoughts of his family as he descends. (The most ridiculous moment is 1.27 minutes in.)
In The Age today Chris Berg from the Institute of Public Affairs fired a shot back at whinging parents complaining that their kids are being marketed at. He has a point in that parents control the money, therefore the parents should get a spine and tell the kid no. Who hasn’t shaken their head at a parent having a “debate” with a child in the supermarket about the purchase of a toy or lolly? Just say no. Let the child have their tantrum on the floor and continue shopping.
What Berg doesn’t address is that parenting is about to become a test event at the 2012 Olympics. Depending on what type of parent you are the race is:
to be the first to have their baby sleep through the night
to be the first to have their child walk
to be the first to toilet train their child
to enrol your child in a kindergarten with the best qualified staff
And so on. It is important to remember that competitors in the Olympics are not permitted to display sponsorship and all are limited in the equipment they can use. In reality in the training grounds of parks, playgrounds, schools, birthdays and the like parents are feeling the pressure to get the pram with the most features; the greenest car; the safest bed; the cutest clothes; the most organic food; the best art program; the funniest clown; the smallest pony;
Somewhere along the line parents became involved in a competition to raise the most gifted child and if you don’t give your child every opportunity to display every one of their gifts then you are a bad parent.
It seems that every modern family goes to get a professional family portrait and by and large the black and white or sepia pics look interesting; the large poster on the wall is cute albeit sometimes confronting; the album on facebook is good for a laugh and attempts at humour; the similar outfits of family members are daggy and scream we are family and the semi-nude are best kept in the private album but ultimately most of the portraits are a great keepsake to be looked back on fondly.
Despite this my family has not gone to the trouble to get the family portrait. The problem with a portrait is that if you come out looking terrible then there is no defence. You can’t say: “I wasn’t looking”; “I didn’t know that people were going to be taking photos”; “I blinked”; “I was really tired”; “The light was bad”. Because you chose the day and time, you got dressed up, multiple pictures were taken and the photos were professionally edited. This is as good as your family is going to get!
You might end up looking back on pictures like these:
At what stage did anyone in this room think this would look cute?
There is brother and sister love and then there is creepy.
“This is what happens when your role model is both a priest and gym teacher”
Were they in such a rush to get the matching clothes ready they couldn’t leave the laundromat?
Two days ago this blog bemoaned the corporate takeover of children’s play and “pointless product” has uncovered the Lunch Punch and the Belly Cast, to name just two.
It is very easy to sit back and ridicule from a distance but it can be challenging to find unstructured, creative, advertising free and above all safe (because who wants to wear a Thudguard?) activities for children.
Happily the City of Yarra came to the rescue with a new community park:
“With the opening of these gates, the residents of Abbotsford will finally have access to this much-loved piece of wide open space,” Cr Stone said.“We are pushing ahead with the works needed to make Victoria Park a place where residents can walk their dogs, cycle, jog, play sport and have picnics and barbeques.”
Putting aside that dogs, bikes, walkers, footballers, runners, kids and BBQs don’t always mix that well it seemed like the perfect family activity. So my family went there, had a great time and because we are always on the lookout for signs of giftedness we took a camera to record proof of giftedness.
Happily when reviewing the photos I didn’t see any photos of Eddie McGuire lurking or Collingwood footballers waiting to pounce but I saw this image:
And immediately I was concerned about the corporate messages being sent to my children whilst playing. So I have mocked up this edit to email to the City of Yarra for immediate change:
I think it sends the appropriate inspirational and motivational message whilst at the same time encouraging children to play with traditional toys. I hope you will join me in campaigning Mama Mia style.
It goes without saying that Wanna-be hippy mum or dad is a very different breed to actual hippy mum.
Natural Habitat: At a farmers market paying excessive amounts for organic produce (you wouldn’t call it food) and flicking through the stalls of tie-dyed dresses, skirts and knitting (that someone else has made).
Not likely to see:Camping or anywhere that doesn’t have mobile reception (what if something happens to the kids?) or a barista that makes the best skinny decaf chai latte.
Related to:4WD mum. Just because the car is diesel or European doesn’t make it eco-friendly.
Quote: How could you put your kids in disposable nappies? Cloth is better for their bottom, better for the environment and it is so easy if you get a nappie wash service. I was just looking at bamboo material covers on the internet too.
Role Model: Gwen Stefani from the band No Doubt. Ohh look she is wearing a floral, halter dress and taking her family to the farmers market to eat corn on a cob and ride on a pony. Ohhh. Too bad the sunnies cost $300.
Y water introduces their concept in drinking as follows:
Steve Moneghetti, James Tomkins and Dean Jones I had always felt I was out of the running due to a lack of public recognition. This year could have been my year.
avoiding a faceplant into the boulders strewn all over the 
are 
At what stage did anyone in this room think this would look cute?
There is brother and sister love and then there is creepy.
“This is what happens when your role model is both a priest and gym teacher”
Were they in such a rush to get the matching clothes ready they couldn’t leave the laundromat?
